u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
