You just made me feel so damn special
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
