The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
