Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
