I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
