i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
