She's JV to your varsity
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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