it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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