the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
