Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
