Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
