She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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