The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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