Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
