Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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