did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
