You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
