You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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