just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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