yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
