Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
