Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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