Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
