Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
