I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Houston, we have a blender
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
