perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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