ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
