You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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