Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
