So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
