Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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