I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
well most of my day revolves around power hour
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
