I love black thongs
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
