We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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