I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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