he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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