I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
