hell yes lets make some ravioli
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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