Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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