I just saw a hot homeless man
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
