no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
