would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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