The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
