Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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