I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
