Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You ruined the universe
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
