best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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