I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
