they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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