Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
