My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
