What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
